You now have the tools
to improve communication with friends and family. We have examined two
ways to divide the twelve signs into categories. The first is through
“elements”; Fire, Earth, Air, and Water. The second is through
“qualities”; Cardinal (Movers and Shakers), Fixed (Stabilizing
and Determined), and Mutable (Flexible and Communicating).
*Note: Astrologers
refer to the “qualities” as Cardinal, Fixed, and Mutable because
these one-word designations are part of the language of Astrology. Each
of these labels represents a very complex body of information.
For example; the twelve signs are used as code words for twelve distinct
personality types. We have become familiar with the concepts and have
stored in our memories certain key phrases that describe what an Aries
or Gemini is like.
You can learn to
use the elements and qualities as easily as you now recognize the twelve
signs. (If you are not familiar with the traits of the twelve signs and
you want to understand close family members, you can send for the FREE
Sun Signs report offered on our web page). It is easy because you have
three and four divisions instead of twelve.
Last week we discussed
the importance of looking for themes, or patterns of behavior that
the person you are observing does consistently over time.
Overheard in the
super market. “I don’t know why he always turns everything into a discussion
about money! All I wanted to do was go shopping with my sister.” Another
conversation overheard in the waiting line for a movie, “She is a really
nice person but I don’t feel I really know her. She never offers any thing
about herself, though she listens politely and seems interested in what
I’m saying”. When I put on my astrologer’s hat, I hear in the first conversation,
Earth and probably Taurus. In the second conversation, I hear Water and
Scorpio.
Does this mean that
the people under discussion were born in those signs. I don’t know. All
I know is that the traits they describe fit those categories. If the person
who is puzzled because her friend always relates events to money, she
could develop some simple ways of reassuring him by giving him more information.
She can go shopping in order to fill other social needs such as companionship
with her sister. She can also agree, if the person to whom she refers
is her husband, that she will limit her purchases to an amount that they
agree fits their budget. The mystery is solved by knowing how to deal
with an Earthy person who deals with the material world first and deals
with Water, (emotional, family), issues later.
In the second example
we are dealing with a friend who has Water traits and may be a Scorpio.
(Of the Water signs, Scorpio is the most private and secretive about personal
matters). The friend is emotionally sensitive and listens and responds
to the concerns of her friend. (Water) but remains closed to her friend
because she automatically keeps her own feelings to herself. (Scorpio.
If the person wants to deepen the friendship, she will have to slowly
build trust by never repeating any information about her friend to anyone
else. Over time she may build a warm and very loyal friendship by allowing
time to show that she honors her friends privacy.
Every day we encounter
situations in which we need clues about someone who is important to make
our day go more smoothly. It may even be important to watch for clues
about the person who delivers your mail or takes care of your dry cleaning.
Your mail may be carried to your door on a rainy day if you have built
rapport previously or you may be warned that a certain fabric needs special
care so you can decide how to protect your expensive garment from the
usual treatment. In both examples you have become a real person in their
eyes and they begin to treat you as a friend. We all have a favorite restaurant
where people greet you by name and the waitperson remembers how you like
your coffee or mentions that they have your favorite dessert. An entire
TV show, Cheers, was built around this human tendency to go where we are
recognized and “everyone knows your name”.
One of the reasons
my clients consult with me is because I can use these tools to help them
understand the difficult relationships in their family, with friends,
and on the job. I have thirty years experience in recognizing patterns
of behavior. You too can learn to recognize these patterns by becoming
a people watcher and using these tools in your every day life. It isn’t
a mystery; it is about caring and respecting the individuality of each
person you meet.
